New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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