matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
