I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
