everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
