I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
