the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
