you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
