I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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