you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
