Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
