you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
