birth control should be required to get into college
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
