We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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