my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
