Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
