"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
