i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
