im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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