I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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