seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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