I think I won the penis lottery.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
