Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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