did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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