Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
