I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
