First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
