no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
