was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
