u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
