After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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