Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
