He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Small penises have feelings too.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
