ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize