i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
