You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My bed smells like the plague
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize