Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
BRING THE BAGELS
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
