I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
