anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize