His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
