I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize