is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
