i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
