i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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