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Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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