Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize