Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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