worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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