I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
