it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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