This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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