You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
