I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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