wakey wakey hands off snakey
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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