how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
