Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
