D3 body, D1 cock
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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