Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
