you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Please, let me fuck your mom
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize