idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
