Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
