you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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