Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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