You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
