party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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