just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
