why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
