My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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