Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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