i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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