I need help removing her.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
